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7 Reasons Why It Sucks To Be a Male Porn Star
By a Male Porn Star

Hello, I’m a male porn star and it sucks! Now, I know what you might be thinking: “Fuck you asshole – you have a big dick and you get paid to get laid.” True, but being a “pro” isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. I’ve been “in the biz” for almost two years now and my experiences, while sexy and fun at times, for the most part have been awful. Below I’ve listed my Top 7 Reasons why being a male porn star sucks but let me say first that, yes, the overall ”kink” of what I do is pretty hot but the nuts ‘n bolts, day-to-day hassles of the porn business can really wear a guy down. (And “being down” can cost you money in this business, trust me – see Reason #2). So why do I do it? The money is okay, but not great, and then there’s the sex. But mostly I do it because I can – not everyone can “perform” with the lights on, and camera crews, and an insistent director yelling “fuck her harder!” And honestly, it beats working at Dunkin’ Donuts (which is what I used to do). Sooner or later I’m going to move on to more “legit” lines of work. But, for now, I guess I’ll struggle through even though it sucks. Here’s why:

Reason #1: You Have To Have Sex: I know it sounds kind of crazy – that’s what you’re there for – but it’s true. Think about it: Maybe you’re horny all the time (as I generally am) but that doesn’t mean you want to actually “do it” every second of the day. We guys want to fuck when we want to fuck, right? Not when it’s “time to fuck”. Say it’s two o’clock in the afternoon. There are eight people in the room – you, the director, the girl you’re “working with”, the cameraman, the lighting guy, the makeup artist and some dude you don’t even know why he’s there – and suddenly it’s time to fuck. GO! Um, okay…

Reason #2: You Can’t Get It Up: Every man’s nightmare is just an ordinary problem on a porn set. Sure, there’s Viagra and Cialis galore and you can pop ‘em by the dozen. But there are side effects to taking that medication so frequently, and the biggest one (no pun intended) is tolerance. In other words, your body actually builds up a resistence to the medication if you take it too much. So, after awhile, you can swallow handfuls of those little blue pills and they have zero effect (other than headaches and the possible loss of vision). What to do? Inject your dick (yes, with a needle) with a more intense liquid medication that works instantly – and leaves the underside of your cock filled with needle holes. God knows what else it’s doing to your body but hey, we have to get the shot, right? And what if you have an aversion to needles (or injecting some weird goop directly into your prick)? Well, there’s always someone (usually a dude) there to help. Ouch and Yuk!

Reason #3: Male Porn Stars Make Much Less Than Female Porn Stars: The usual rate of pay for a girl in the porn business can run anywhere from $800 a scene to $2,000 per scene, depending on the number of male performers she’s “accommodating”, and what the sex act actually is (like Double Penetration, threesomes, anal, creampie, etc). How much do we guys make? On average: $200!! True, sometimes we can earn as much as $500 for a scene (and more, of course, if you’re a “name” star, like Ron Jeremy or Vince Voyeur). The thinking goes: Hey, you’re getting to fuck a gorgeous porn star so be happy you’re getting paid at all. But male porn actors have bills like car payments and rent, too, so we often have “day jobs” (or, “night gigs”, like waiters and parking lot attendants). After the cumshot you feel great but when you leave the shoot and realize you can’t pay your mortgage and have to do another shoot, right away maybe that day just to keep the creditors off your back, it’s not as much fun.

Reason #4: You have To Have ‘Good Aim’: When it’s time for “the Money Shot” – the cumshot – the director almost always wants you to hit the female in the face with your jism. There’s nothing worse than shooting a hot scene and then, at the very end, with the girl on her knees, mouth wide open, waiting for your sperm, to shoot a giant load across the room barely getting a drop on her face! The director yells ‘CUT!” and sometimes they want you to do it again – and if you can’t they bring in another cock for the splooge. Talk about ego crushing.

Reason #5: You’re Not Attracted To Your On-Screen Partner: Maybe you’re not into breast implants (all that bouncing around can really hurt, especially if one of those silicone pumpkins accidently whacks you in the head). Maybe you only like redheads, or blondes, and the girl you’re fucking is a brunette and reminds you of your sister. Maybe she’s a little too fat, or skinny, or tall, or – you get the idea. It doesn’t matter if you HATE her or the way she looks, or smells, or tastes – you have to fuck her otherwise you’ll be replaced. Okay, so perhaps you take a pass on this one – you end up getting a reputation that you’re “difficult to work with” or “too picky” and slowly the casting calls stop coming. It’s a real issue, and you have to be mentally strong (and real good at fantasizing and visualizing someone else) to overcome this common problem.

Reason #6: You’re Expected To Have Zero Hang-ups: Maybe the scene is a threesome – wth another guy and one girl! Or it’s a double penetration scene where it’s gaurunteed your dick will at least touch another dude. Or perhaps you just find it uncomfortable to have a cameraman lean on your shoulders while he’s trying to get that closeup of her sucking your balls. Don’t like anal? Too bad. Don’t like eating pussy? Tough. Hate it when you’re expected to fling her around like Superman (against the wall, on the sink, over a couch, on a ladder…)? They don’t want to hear it. Just do it or get lost, we’ll find someone else!

Reason #7: She Hurts Your Dick: Remember, your female porn partner is also trying to give a heated, passionate performance (her career and earning potential is on the line, too). So she bites your cock, jerks it really hard and fast, sucks those balls a little too intensely, moves her hips like she’s grinding raw meat trying to turn it into a hamburger. The list goes on and on. It’s nearly impossible to tell your partner to stop doing something that hurts, or just feels uncomfortable because it probably hurts her, too. Or she might not “get it” or just not give a fuck.. And you won’t get any sympathy from the director, or anyone on the set (at least it’s your dick that’s getting crushed so shut up). Then there’s the angles. Oh the angles!! Extreme sideways, extreme bending this way and that, all so the camera can get what people are paying for: the cock going in the pussy. What feels good and “natural” in normal life often doesn’t cut it on film so you almost have to be a gymnast to get the shot, and lots of times it’s painful. Sometimes it even feels like your dick is going to break off! But you gotta keep going, and going, no matter what. No wonder so many ‘stunt cocks’ look bent and disjointed!

So as you can see, it looks like great fun while you’re watching it but porn is hard work and not always worth the effort. Did I mention the constant fear of being ‘discovered’ by your friends and family? Call that a Bonus Reason why being a male porn star sucks! But until I can get into college this is all I know and I suppose you just have to take the good with the bad. At least most people don’t even look at who the cock is attached to anyway, right?

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